Sunday, May 17, 2009

Bittersweet Farewell


It has been kind of a rough week. My Grandma Nora passed away this week and it has been such an emotional roller coaster. She had been in and out of the hospital for the past year or so, and the last few times were really hard because we didn't think she would make it. So, we'd come to grips with the fact that she's going to die, and then she'd pull through and go back home and we could take a sigh of relief and thank Heavenly Father that she made it through it. Then, a month later she'd be back in the hospital. My heart just ached for her and for my family. It's so hard to be so far away and feel like there is just nothing you can do other than pray your hardest and put names on the temple prayer role. This time, Grandma said she had had enough. She really wanted to be back with Grandpa again. It's an interesting thing to be on your knees, pleading with Heavenly Father for a tender mercy...and then when your prayers are answered, your heart still breaks. It's like being torn in two. One half is rejoicing that she doesn't have to suffer anymore, and I know she is having the most beautiful reunion with dear Grandpa, her mom and her other family who has already passed on. The other side of me is having the hardest time dealing with the idea of her really being gone. Not being able to say good-bye to her, not being able to go to her funeral and get the closure I need...it's just really tough. It somehow doesn't seem real yet. I can't imagine her not being at her house sitting in her favorite gray recliner, or not getting to hear her voice any more (well, for a long time anyway...) and the family going through their things and deciding who gets what...it just hurts so much! The last words I heard her say were "I love love love you." I can't think of any better last words. I'll miss her so much, but I am so grateful for the knowledge that families are forever. I know we'll be together again. I know she is soooooooo happy right now and I am so grateful and blessed to be a part of such a wonderful eternal family!

7 people leaving some love!:

The Yoder's Three said...

That is such a good picture of Grandma! I also couldn't go to her funerals and regret not being able to say a proper goodbye (when I saw her a month ago she was too drugged up to talk). I will miss her but will always remember her sweet smile and kindness. It's hard to believe she's really gone--but she had suffered more than her fair share. I'm happy knowing she's not in pain anymore.

Melissa said...

I am so sorry about your Grandma, it is so hard to lose one. I am so grateful that we have the knowledge that we will see our loved ones again.

Tove said...

I'm so glad you posted a picture of your sweet grandma Nora. Our lives were blessed to know her and your grandpa Wally as well.
She will be greatly missed and I'm sorry for the pain her absence has brought to you and all your family. Rejoice in all the sweet memories and in the reassurance of a happy reunion some day.Grandpa Horst sends his love.

The Mursets said...

We miss her so much. We're sad for us but happy for her.

Tyler

Chris said...

Thanks for your beautiful post Nat. Grandma's passing is quite a mixture of emotion.
Don't worry I did not have any more of a bond with Grandma than you do. She made everyone feel special. That was her gift. Our gift is to love her back just as much. You're love is so contagious, I love it!!!
By the way Brant's parents are moving near you. Probably to Cypress.

Linsey said...

I am so sorry for your loss. It's hard to lose a Grandma that you were close to. I lost mine last September and I am still having a hard time remembering that she's gone and I even got to go to the funeral. I miss her so much. I, too, am glad for eternal families that I know I can see her again.

Mike & Rachel Barton said...

I'm sad we couldn't be there together :( Now she just gets to peak in every once-in-a-while and see your cute little family. I'm sure she's loving Kate!

Love ya Nat!