WOW! I am completely blown away at the support and encouragement I've received after my last post! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOUUUU! It was so nice to know I'm not alone!
I spent the past week at Girls Camp with the Young Women from church, and it was a WONDERFUL, much needed break. I feel so refreshed! And I was SOOOO ready to come home to my little family, I could hardly stand it!
The funny thing is, my husband stayed home to take care of the kids while I was gone. In my mind I was secretly hoping he would see how hard being a mom was. I was expecting to come home to a torn up house, messy kids, a totally cranky husband and an empty fridge. To my surprise, when I walked into the front door, the house was ABSOLUTELY CLEAN. It was quiet. There was food in the fridge. I was like, "What on earth!?!" He was out with the kids on a bike ride! He even went out and bought one of those bike trailers to pull Kate behind him in. The kids were dressed and clean, and Kate's hair was in little pigtails. I was completely blown away! Not only this, but he had gotten up every morning and made the kids breakfast. Like...pancakes and french toast and bacon and eggs! He had even trained the kids to put their dishes into the dishwasher when they're done eating (why hadn't I thought of that!?!) I'm not kidding, this man is a better mom than I am.
My life has changed SO much in the past month or so. My marriage was falling apart and I didn't know how we were going to fix it. We've tried counseling before, but it didn't help and was pretty much a big waste of time and money. Do you want to know what has been the miracle in our marriage? THIS BOOK.
Did you know that people show and need love in different ways? It's like two people speaking different languages. Sure, two people who speak different languages can talk to eachother, but will they know what the heck the other one is saying??? Not really. One of our BIGGEST problems in our marriage is that our love languages are different and we had no idea! There is a quiz that you take to help you figure out which love language is the one you speak/need. The 5 love languages are PHYSICAL TOUCH, ACTS OF SERVICE, WORDS OF AFFIRMATION, GIVING/GETTING GIFTS, and QUALITY TIME.
The test has 30 multiple choice questions, answered A B C or D. Then, you tally up your answes to see which things are most important to you and helps you to figure out which love languages you and your spouse speak/understand. Then, there are different chapters on each love language and how to speak it. The first love language I need/understand is acts of service. This means that the things that mean the most to me are things like him doing dishes...he shows me he loves me by the things he does for me. My second love language is quality time. I need to spend time with him, whether it's taking a sunset stroll or playing a video game together, it doesn't matter. I need that one on one time. This is how he "fills my love tank". People are like cars, if their tank is empty, they can't go. His love language is Physical Touch, (as are most men's first love language...hahah!). But, if my love tank is empty because he hasn't done anything to fill it, I am a lot less likely to feel like being intimate, and if I'm not filling his tank, he won't want to do things to help me or spend time with me. Get my drift? It has really been AMAAAZING to see the change in my husband. He had NOOO idea that helping around the house and spending a little one on one time with me each day would mean so much to me. Now, his second love language is also acts of service. I found out that the most important things to him are coming home to a clean house, having dinner ready at least a half an hour after he comes home (he's usually starrrrrving), and silly little things like putting my shoes in the closet! I had no idea how important those things were to him, either. SO, now I focus more attention to making sure I do a "turbo clean sweep" of the house before he comes home and making sure he has dinner soon after he gets home. I make the bed and put away my shoes...such easy little things! And we have both been SOOO much happier! Both of our tanks are being filled, thus we have fuel to give to the other. I highly recommend this book, it has worked wonders.
Annnnd, that's your reading assignment for this week. :) Even if your marriage is peachy keen, it's still fun to discover more about you and your spouse. And, if I were Queen, I'd make everyone who is even THINKING about getting married read this book so they know what their love languages are so their relationship stays going in the right direction.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. THE END.
Posted by Natalie at 11:01 AM