Sunday, October 24, 2010

Shoot. Me. Now.

Oh my gosh, will someone PLEASE pinch me and wake me up. I have just been called to be the Young Womens President AND ward pianist in the SPANISH BRANCH. That's right...the Spanish branch. This would be great an all accept for 2 big factors.



Okay, that's not true. I can say my colors and count to 20 in Spanish, (Thank you, Sesame Street) and I can play piano. If it's only the right hand and it must be in the key of C. So, I would like to find whoever lied and told the Branch President that I can play the piano and give them a good smack. As for the Young Womens would be great accept for that I have no teachers, counselors or anything. It's just me, myself, I and the girls. This puts me in charge of EVERYTHING. Mutual, Sunday classes, girls camp, all of the other things like Personal Progress and Night of Excellence and New Beginnings...(HELP!). The branch is, 40 people at most. Including in-actives. So, there isn't anyone to call to help me! The Primary is the same way. There is the Primary President. She is also the teacher. On my first Sunday there, I was the primary pianist (it was horrible) the music leader, the nursery leader AND the Sunbeam teacher all in one day! I taught Sunbeams while letting the babies play on the other side of the room. By the end of class they were all coloring together and eating cookies. I am trying SO hard to not have a bad attitude about all this. But it's so hard when I don't know what anyone is saying...I feel like I have to do everything because people won't come to church or fulfill their callings. And, I know it's not the, "We feel so strongly by the power of the Holy Ghost that you should be called to these callings"'s actually, "We're desperate and we don't have anyone else to do it." If I knew I was called by God, it would be different. can I go to meetings like BYC and Correlation meetings and stuff...I won't know what the heck anyone is saying!!! (shoot me now.)

I won't lie. I have been tempted to start licking public restrooms and drinking fountains in hopes of getting sick every week. The better side of my conscience always wins. "Natalie...God is watching you. Is this what Jesus would do? The Lord looketh on the heart." SIGH. All I can do is pray for a change of heart. And a miracle of the gift of suddenly knowing how to play piano. And be fluent in Spanish.

I tried, I really did. I went to my parents house (they have a piano) and I got out the hymn book and I played for 5 hours straight. I tried every song in the song book hoping that there would be at least one I could play. Nope. Nada. I ended up just crying for the last 4 hours. How am I supposed to get up there in front of everyone and make a fool of myself? EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY. THREE TIMES PER SUNDAY. That's a lot of humiliation for a girl who is already on anti-depressants.

If God helped Moses part the Red Sea... and Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead...stuff like that...I hope He can work a miracle for me, too.

5 people leaving some love!:

The Yoder's Four said...

Yikes!!! I'd be running for the hills! That doesn't seem fair for you to have to do EVERYTHING. Time to pull out the music CDs that accompany the hymns! I'm so sorry--that is so stressful for you. :/

The Yoder's Four said...

Btw, my parent's ward in Hurricane has hosted both Spanish and Samoan branches. They would have separate Sacrament meetings but everything else was combined because there weren't enough people to fill all the leadership positions. I wonder why they don't do that with your Spanish branch?

Chris said...

You can do it. You will just have to rely on the girls for a lot. They are capable to do so many things & really they are the ones that should be running the program. Your jib is just to teach them how. The Spanish branch combined YW with our girls last time I was a YW president. The girls all spoke English.
Just remember those girls need you & you & your family will be blesses tremendously for all the service. I promise he will make more time in your day. You are NOT alone & you can do it. I know you & know you can.
Call or e-mail me if you need a shoulder :)
I love you cuz!!!!

Jolene Hueber said...

licking the restroom to get sick.. funny. Goodness. Spanish branch. That sounds hard, but I think I would fit in there...besides the lanuage barrier.

The Mursets said...

HOLY C-R-A-P! We will be praying for you for sure....

Do the younger members speak English? I know it is like that alot of times- the adults will have their kids communicate in English for them. Hopefully there will be some girls that know a little English to be able to help you out there. The girls will totally love you and look up to you, and that may be all they need- a good role model. Good luck!