Top Ten

Okay. I just need to vent a little, I'm sure I'll feel much better after I get this all out. I've been cooped up too long and things are just so out of whack and I just feel like I'm about to go nutty...so tonight will be a venting post. Here's my life on a not so normal day.

Top 10 Things On My Mind Tonight

1. Where on earth are we going to put this baby!?! There's no room in our bedroom (see #2), the kids' room has no room unless we put the crib in front of the great big window which of course is a really bad idea...and there' s no way I'm putting the baby in the living room downstairs...or the kitchen for that matter.

2. Why did I let Michael kick me out of our master bedroom, master bathroom and even out of the master bedroom closet!?! I've been alienated and he has taken over the ENTIRE master living area all for himself!!! He got this great big weight machine that does all those different exercises, and couldn't put it in the garage because it's too hot and smells like gas. Couldn't put it upstairs in the "club house" because it was too heavy and wouldn't fit. The only place he could put it was our master bedroom. He doesn't want us in there messing things up or getting hurt, so I had to move out alllll my stuff from the bathroom and closet so that I didn't have to go in there anymore and the kids wouldn't follow. So now, our bedroom...HIS. Our bathroom with a nice big tub and two sinks and lots of cupboards....HIS. Our nice big walk in closet with extra storage shelves....HIS. ALLLL HIS. What was I thinking!?! It's not fair!!! I have to share a bathroom with the kids! I can't even keep a razor in the shower to shave my legs with. The only place I have for any of my stuff is the little bitty closet in the guest room (which is the "club house" I was previously kicked out of.) The "club house" is now the master bedroom which has room for the bed and dresser. Barely. The dresser is about a foot away from the bed. I know he's really wanted one of these for a long time and it makes him feel good about himself and I'm trying sooo hard to be understanding...but I just miss things the way they were. Plus, now when he comes home from work he locks himself in his "man room" for most of the evening so I feel like I don't get to see him very much. I'll probably stop complaining when I see those rock hard abs...

3. If I don't get to leave the house tomorrow I think I will go crazy. I haven't left the house in 7 days. With the whole gas situation I can't have the car...aaaaaah! I hope things get back to normal soon. I wonder when we'll be able to buy real milk again? I've already taken our last two gallons and to stretch them out, I did them half powdered milk and half regular milk. Not the best tasting...but much better than straight powdered milk. Ever tried "Morning Moo's" milk substitute? Again, not as good as real milk, but MUCH better than regular powdered milk. You can find it online at moosmilk.com. We bought the big thing of it...I think it makes 32 gallons or so.

4. Man, that potato chowder I made for dinner tonight was nasty...I'm never making that again. Turkey bacon...just not quite the same as regular bacon. It freaks me out that they used artificial coloring to make it look like bacon...it's just not right. It looks like a gigantic piece of bacon chewing gum. Nasty.

5. Back to baby.... how on earth am I going to survive that first few months of having a brand new baby on my own? The whole zombie thing is sooooo hard and I turn into Mr. Hyde with no sleep. I sleep on the couch so Mike can get his sleep since he has to work. I mean, it's not like there's anything he can do to help anyway. Then I'm exhausted allll day and have to still take care of the house and the kids and the meals....and do it all over again the next night and day....on and on. I'm out here a million miles from home, mom has to work so she can't come out, I get postpartum depression really bad and there's no way I can get home with two kids and a newborn on my own. Again, what on earth was I thinking? I'm not ready for another baby...I like the way things are now. We have found our groove. I don't want it to change. It scares me that it's too late to turn back. Isn't that sad?

6. I have more pimples right now than I think I've ever had before. The great big painful ones. What happened? Is it pregnancy acne? Stress? I can't do anything about it like putting any medications on it because I'm pregnant...so I just have to deal with looking like a pepperoni pizza....which actually sounds mighty tasty right now.

7. Which brings me to my next thought, what's up with morning sickness!?! Seriously, why don't they just call it all day sickness? It is soooo hard to find something to eat that doesn't make me gag at the thought of it. When I finally find something that sounds okay, I go through the trouble of making it. Then, as soon as it's ready to eat it sounds absolutely appalling and it goes straight into the trash. All I can seem to handle is Slimfast and toast. Blah.

8. Why on earth do I look 4 months pregnant? I'm less than 2 months along!!! It's just not right. I shouldn't have to be wearing circus tents yet. But if I don't, then I look 4 months pregnant and when people ask, "oh, you look so cute, when are you due?" and I have to tell them I'm not due until May. Then they look absolutely confused and start counting on their fingers. It's so embarrassing...

9. Good news, I'm craving fruits. Bad news...it has to be in the form of a dessert. Give me bananas...but it has to be in a cream pie. Give me some citrus fruits...but make it into lemon bars. Give me strawberries.... a strawberry sundae, that is. I'm going to be 200 pounds by the time I'm 5 months along.

10. Remember that TV show from the 90's called "Rescue 911"? I found it on youtube! Whitney loves to watch it with me. So far, she has learned not to run with scissors, not to play with guns, don't talk to strangers, don't jump on the bed near windows, don't car surf, don't fall off of the 8th story of a building, don't play with poisonous snakes, don't climb into the washing machine, don't trip over a cord attached to a deep fryer, don't stick your arm down pool drains, don't swallow pennies, don't fall asleep at the wheel, don't climb under garage doors while they're closing, and don't make a full body cast out of paper mache just for fun. I have learned that I need to bring my kids with me when I have to go potty so they're not left unsupervised for 2 minutes...it's always, "I was only gone for about 2 minutes". Oh. And hot dogs? Very bad...unless you puree them...but who wants to eat hot dog mush? Well, anyway, good show. Though I must say William Shatner is not the stud muffin I remember him to be. Again...what was I thinking!?!

Well, there's top ten things on my mind tonight. I'll probably read this in the morning and laugh. I think I feel a little better...though now I'm craving banana cream pie and pepperoni pizza. Aw nuts. Mmmm. Nuts. Peanuts? Blah...gag. Almonds? Ah, yes. Almond... M&Ms. We don't have any Almond M&M's. They're probably all sold out at the grocery store...along with everything else. It would take a half of a gallon of gas to get to the store. Double nuts. Mmmm. Nuts. Yes, my friends, this is how my brain is really functioning.