Monday, July 28, 2008

I AM MOM

Today I was flipping through a magazine that my friend gave me, and there was this really great advertisement for a (really cool) jogging stroller. On the advertisement was a quote:

"I AM NOT a woman whose hair looks perfect all the time, makes a home-cooked meal every night, and knows exactly how to answer all my children's questions. But I am strong. I am invincible. I AM MOM."

I soooo needed that quote today! I have been feeling pretty down lately. I think I go through these emotions every few months or so...where I just get tired and fed up with my life's routine. We only have one car, so I stay at home with the kids allll day long. Any woman with kids knows it is a full time job, and though we get paid in blessings in heaven, some cold hard cash or a big fat salary wouldn't be under-appreciated. Then, I have to fix dinner for the husband. Then I have to clean up dinner and the whole mess I made for dinner and then put the kids to bed...all while the husband goes out to do Kenpo (karate) with his friends until 10:30 or 11:00. This happens on Monday, Tuesday and Thursdays. Wednesdays I have mutual, so I don't get to see him till Fridays.

I don't think it would be so bad accept for that it seems nothing I do lasts. By the end of the day, I don't really have any proof for what I've done. By the time Mike gets home from work, you'd never be able to tell that I have been straightening up the house allllllllllll day. You'd never know that I did a load of dishes already and I swear the kitchen had visible counter tops during most of the day. You'd never know that I really did put on clean clothes this morning and I swear I put on make-up and did my hair. And deodorant for that matter. You'd never know that the pile of clothes thrown across the floor had been clean and neatly folded and ready to put away just five minutes ago. And I swear I did make the bed this morning, and no, I was not eating cookies in our bed...those crumbs aren't mine! (which would explain why the kids were so quiet while I was moping the kitchen floor...) I swear I did watch the lady at the cash register to make sure everything rang up at the right price, but when Aaron attacked Whitney and spit her lip open in the grocery cart I looked away, so I didn't see that the $2 coupon off of the cereal didn't make it through and that I was charged twice for that same bag of cereal (Grrrr!). I promise I vacuumed earlier today...but that was before the bag of cheerios I gave Aaron twenty minutes ago to try to hold him at bay until dinner. I'm so sorry about the crayon on the wall...I thought I had put all the crayons away....but that was until Aaron remembered he had hidden one of them in the VCR. (Which also would explain why our VCR hasn't been working all day...and the slight smell of burning plastic.)

And that's pretty much my day. Some days I think it would be so nice to get to put on some nice clothes, get all dolled up and go to work in an office where I would be recognized for my hard work and feel important. A place where colleagues don't throw themselves to the floor when you refuse to let them eat that entire box of gram crackers. A place where you can stand in the lunch line without your colleague shouting, "Hey mom! That's a big fat black lady!". Or some sort of a middle eastern person and your colleague shouting, "Hey mom! It's one of those bad guys from Daddy's video game!". And then I realized that suddenly there wouldn't be any more of the "Hey mom, can I sit on your lap and you can read me a story?" or "Hey mom, when I grow up I want to be a mommy like you!", or "Hey mom, can we get a turtle that doesn't eat fish? I want mine to eat jellyfish." I don't think any paycheck or expensive shoes and purses or memos at work could ever compare to that. Anyways, the point that I'm trying to make is that it's so easy to get frustrated with being "just a mom." Until I take a step back, look at all that I have, and realize that I'm not "just a mom". I'm "NOT JUST A MOM".

7 people leaving some love!:

Tyler, Monica & Nathan Murset said...

You always have such great and meaningful posts. I know exactly how you feel! Your kids are so lucky to have you.

themuirbunch said...

I loved your blog today, I know exactly how you feel. I feel that way every single day of my life and I think it's about to get worse here in a few weeks. But you are so right, the smallest little things they do that are "Good" do make being a mom so worthwhile. Michael has no clue how lucky he is to be married to you, as well as your kids. Thanks for the blog it helped me today! I needed someone to relate to.

themuirbunch said...

p.s Love you twinky!

Chris said...

Thanks for the blog Nat.
You sure make a fantastic glass of lemonade!!!

I've been a bit negative lately & needed a reminder there is more beauty & purpose behind anything & everything.

Utley Family said...

I promise you that it gets easier (in some ways) as your kids get older. I remember feeling exactly the same way...no car and no way to go anywhere, and husband almost never home to help. You are such a great mom and I love your attitude. You are absolutely right...nothing compares to being a mom. Always enjoy something about being a mom every day because before you know it your baby will be 19 and going on a mission or off to school!! It goes SOOOOO fast!

The Yoder's Three said...

AMEN, sister!

The Brock Family said...

Wow! That fits my day to a tea! I feel like that most days! Thanks for the blog! I live reading what you have to say!