Stephen Update: Most Difficult Decision of All

Here is today's update from Stephen's Dad

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The Most Difficult Decision of All

This decision has been coming slowly for a while now. After talking in the waiting room this morning with Stephen asleep in our arms, Amber and I decided it is time for us to take him home to Albuquerque in anticipation of Stephen's return to his home above.

We will do so at the end of his current course of radiation.

At this point the longer we stay here and treat him, the more time we actually loose. He longs to be home with his family, in his own bed, surrounded by the comfort that only it can give him. Aside from the radiation to his pelvis, the other current treatments, potential future treatments, and nasty side-effects are only hurting him and preventing him from the peace and comfort he deserves.

Once we take him home we might expect anywhere from a couple weeks to a couple months with him. Unfortunately the same is true if we subject him to 4-6 more months of torturous treatment away from home. We get the same end result with far too much suffering involved.

More than that, the chances are extremely high that he would not make it through the rest of the treatments. Even our doctor has said that Stephen is not a good candidate for chemotherapy now. He's just too weak. He would almost surely miss out entirely on those last good days if we pushed forward from here. The fungal infection only complicates issues further. The end would come 1000 miles away from home and family in a sterile, clinical environment. We can not risk it.

From the beginning, we promised ourselves that we would NOT try to keep Stephen in this world for our own selves. We promised to NOT to treat him at any expense to his own quality of life and happiness We used to be able to hold onto the idea that there would be a time where he would go home free of cancer. We hoped that pain and suffering endured would pay off... even if for a short number of years... or months... We wished that Stephen would feel well enough to go back to school and enjoy the life he had before. We desired that he would have some portion of a good quality of life. The time for that has now clearly passed.

What is best for Stephen has changed. It is now apparent that no amount of chemotherapy, anti-fungal, or radiation will give us what we want: a healthy, happy Stephen. We have done our very best. We have fought fiercely, tirelessly. Because of this, we can have no regrets.

It is not time to say goodbye yet, but the time has now come to leave the rest entirely in the Lord's hands. We know we must do so with all the faith, courage, love, and hope we can muster.

We have taken many small steps of great faith throughout the last five months. This is the giant leap they have all lead to and prepared us for. We must have the confidence that God will catch us in his arms. I KNOW he will. I just hope each of us, my wife, my children, each person reading this right now who loves Stephen don't have to fall too far before we feel his saving embrace. God be with us.

Free St. Patrick's Day Printable

Yup, that about says it! Want it?

Click {HERE} to download Kiss Me Anyway 8x10

Do you have the St. Patrick's Day bug, too? What are you planning on doing for the big day?

The kids in the Brimhall house will wake up to a LUCKY CHARMS breakfast...


and some fun St. Patrick's Day decorations


and discovering some LEPRECHAUN MISCHIEF....
(I'm totally going to do my husband's toilet too...he's going to FLIP OUT!!!)


We'll all be wearing some green, of course....



The girls will probably wear something fun like this in their hair...



We'll be doing fun RAINBOW KABOBS....

Fun Clover Hand Print art projects...

And making some fun little treats like this...


or this....

or this....

And watching a fun Youtube Video on why we even celebrate St. Patrick's Day in the first place...(I'm pretty sure it's by the same people who do Veggie Tales...so cute!)




May the LUCK O' THE IRISH be with you this week!

Stephen Update: How Many Tears?

Here's the latest update on Stephen for those of you who are following along with his journey battling AT/RT brain cancer. His parents keep an online journal for his friends and family to read, and this is where the updates come from. He is such a little fighter, and his family amazes me every day with their strength and determination. My heart absolutely aches for them...please continue to keep them in your prayers! Thanks. :)

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There are days that I wonder if a person could actually run out of tears. I'm sure that over the next few months, I will test this question many times.

Today after Stephen was sedated, I went to get something for lunch. I passed his radiation oncologist in the hall as I walked. He stopped me and told me that he spoke with the radiation team and they have put their foot down. They will not allow him to do Stephen's radiation treatment the way he had planned. They have told him NO! I asked, once again, does this mean that when we stop treatment, the tumor will grow back more quickly than it would using your method? Yes, that is exactly what it means.

They have decided that there is no way to cure Stephen so using the more aggressive treatment isn't necessary. They believe that no matter what they do, the radiation will not get rid of the tumor so they might as well not do damage to surrounding areas. As I mentioned last night, this seems counter-intuitive to me. What does it matter if they damage something else if they know that this cancer will take his life? I want pain relief for my child for as long as possible.

After the quick conversation in the hall, I hurried to a private place and broke down. I sat, bent forward, watching my tears hit the floor. I watched a puddle form and wondered how I would ever get the tears to stop. I sat and wept for a while. I then got out my phone and headed outside to find a phone signal. I called Brent and told him about the decision the radiation team had made. I stood outside under an overhang and cried to Brent as the wind blew sheets of rain in different directions. It is always raining when we get bad news.

For the rest of the day, the tears have come and gone. My face turns bright red and swells up when I cry so I didn't go unnoticed, even when I had stopped crying. I let the nurses hug me but I didn't tell them why I was crying. I didn't want that awkward moment when they realized what I was telling them...the radiation doctors have sentenced my child to a painful death. They never quite know how to react to bad news. They always try to stay upbeat and positive and I just wasn't feeling very upbeat.

After much thought and consideration, Brent and I have decided that we are going to discontinue the anti-fungal infusion. It is messing with Stephen's blood chemistry too much. He is now on two different supplements to keep things under control. Just yesterday he started shaking an twitching. It is hard to explain but he just can't stop moving. This could be a side effect of low magnesium but after a few doses he is not improving. In fact he is much worse today. He has also been very confused today. He spent most of the day confused about where he was, who he was with and where we were going. He asked me a number of nonsense questions that I could never quite understand only to tell me he forgot what he was asking.

Regardless of what the scans show tomorrow about the yeast in his head, it is VERY unlikely that we will ever get to the point that we would start chemo. For that to happen, the tumor in his hip would have to get to microscopic size, the yeast nodule would have to be surgically removed, and a new shunt would have to be placed after the yeast surgery and further yeast treatment.

I think for now we will finish radiation, the new way, and watch the rest of Stephen's body for metastatic disease. Most likely, by the time we are done with radiation, the cancer will be somewhere else, if it isn't already, and we will come home. We will hope and pray that the tumor in his hip will have been shrunk enough to give him some time without pain. We just don't know what to expect.

We are both looking forward to Brent and the kids coming. Libby made a count down calendar for Stephen to mark off the days until they get here. We can't wait! HURRY, HURRY, HURRY!

Such A Tease

Spring is just around the corner...the temperatures are teasing me. I'm already stalking Old Navy, drooling over cute little swimsuits. I'm trying not to hold a grudge against the groundhog, who decided we needed more winter. Seriously, who does he think he is!?! :)

Glitter Giveaway WINNER!

Ladies and Gentlemen, (though...I don't recall any Gentlemen entering this contest...haha)
We have a winner!

According to Random.org's Random Number Generator, the lucky winner is.....
Mica!

Mica, my dear, you have 48 hours to email me (at NatSpratblog@yahoo.com) which 2 colors you would like along with your mailing address! CONGRATULATIONS!

Toy Room Printables

Okay, my friends! Here are the long anticipated Printables from the Big Toy Room Reveal! Mine were 5.5 x 13.5 (I know...totally random size and it was a PAIN to print out.) So, yours will be an 8x10 version.



You can get these for your home now, too! You can find them here in my new etsy shop!
It's only $10 for the set! You also get to choose which of the EVERY CHILD IS AN ARTIST you want, there are 4 different colors to choose from. :) Ready...set...go!

{Pin}spiration Copycat Week 4: Chalk Board Table

If you read my Toy Room Reveal post from yesterday then you already know my {Pin}spiration Copycat project for this week! It's a chalk board top table!

Here is my original {Pin}spiration. :)

So cute, huh! Well...I just HAD to have one! With a busy little 2 year old who likes to draw on EVERYTHING, it was kind of a must have.

Now...who wants a tutorial??? It is SOOOO easy, it's almost not right. Here's what you need.

1. A table/coffee table/whatever you want to turn into a chalkboard

2. A base color of paint
I used Krylon Dual Spray Paint in Cherry Red. I love this stuff! It's spray paint AND primer in one! My wood was pretty dark and I didn't want to do a zillion coats of spray paint. This stuff worked PERFECTLY!



3. Painters Tape
I got the wide one. Since it's spray paint it gets everywhere! This stuff creates a nice ledge to deflect the chalkboard paint and keep it from "floating" all over the rest of the table.

4. Chalkboard Paint
I used trusty ol' Krylon. I didn't even know they made chalkboard SPRAY paint! It was a very pleasant surprise! They also have chalkboard paint in 1 quart cans...and I've seen tutorials where you just add powdered grout to whatever color of paint you want to use to make your own chalkboard paint. But...this was inexpensive and easy to use.

Now, let the fun begin! First, I started spray painting in the garage. Then, I remembered that a certain handsome man who lives in my home and signed our wedding certificate told me to
NEVER EVER EVERRRRR
pretty please don't spray paint in the garage EVER AGAIN. So, I moved it outside.

Step 1: Spray paint your table with the base coat color. (Mine was the Cherry Red...)

TIPS:

- do a really light sanding of the table with a fine grit sand paper to make the first coat of paint stick best.
- don't make the coats too thick or they'll start to drip and get messy.
- do light, even swipes across the furniture
- make sure the coat is all or at least MOSTLY (okay...so I'm impatient!) dry before applying another.

Step 2: Tape off the edges of the table with your painters tape. Make sure it's really pressed down well or the chalk board paint will seep into the crack!

Step 3: Spray on the chalk board spray paint! Use the same tips for spray painting as above.

Step 4: Wait for the paint to dry COMPLETELY...(yes, COMPLETELY). The can says 24 hours but mine was dry within 11 hours (yup...still impatient).

Step 5: Once it's completely dry, take a piece of chalk and rub it over the whole table. Then with a chalkboard eraser or a soft cloth wipe it off really well. This preps the chalkboard paint.


Step 6: You're DONE! Go buy some chalk and have fun! Yes, you WILL have to fight for a turn to draw on the table first. For real. And I won.


Want to see the first thing I drew???




Thanks for stopping by! Let me know if you have any questions!



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